Avoid These 3 Phrases for a Successful Negotiation
Regardless of the situation or your role, avoid sabotaging your negotiations with the wrong words. These phrases instantly highlight your inexperience and lack of confidence.
I often say that negotiating has been a significant part of my life—and you may find the same applies to your own work and personal life. My career has been filled with negotiations: I spent over two decades at Christie’s as the Global Managing Director of Strategic Partnerships, negotiating deals; I work as a charity auctioneer, negotiating bids to maximize fundraising; and I founded a talent agency where I negotiate pay and conditions for my clients. On top of all this, I’m also a mom of three.
Over the years, I’ve seen many people unknowingly harm their own negotiations with simple mistakes, like using the wrong language, which quickly exposes their lack of experience and confidence.
Here are three phrases to avoid if you want to consistently succeed in negotiations:
“Is it okay if I ask for . . . ?”
A key aspect of any negotiation is projecting confidence right from the start. I’ve seen countless people undermine their negotiating power in the first few minutes by using this phrase. By asking, “Is it okay if I ask for . . . ?” you’re giving the other party the authority, which puts them in control. As an auctioneer, I never ask the audience for the next bid—I state the amount and wait for them to confirm.
This doesn’t mean you need to approach a negotiation with aggression or forcefulness if that’s not your natural style. In fact, it’s more effective to be yourself when you walk into the room, as it helps the person across from you feel at ease. Your body language speaks volumes, showing you’re in control of the situation. If you tend to overexplain or seek permission, try practicing with friends or family beforehand, so you feel comfortable with silence during the negotiation.
Remember, confident silence is a powerful tool in negotiations. The person who talks or asks too many questions often ends up with less than they hoped for. Negotiation is about establishing control from the moment you sit down—and maintaining that control until the deal is finalized.
“Do you think my number is too high?”
To start a negotiation on the right foot, it’s crucial to appear confident and in control. By doing your preparation beforehand, you should have already set your “LMH” numbers: your Low (walk-away) number, Medium (acceptable) number, and High (ideal) number. This preparation ensures that you won’t settle for less than you deserve or give up more than you’re willing to in the heat of negotiation. By knowing your numbers, you eliminate the need to ask the other party, “Do you think my number is too high?” You already know what you’re willing to accept. If they’re on board, great. If not, you’re prepared to walk away.
Additionally, skilled negotiators expect to hear a higher number at the start. Going in with the mindset that the other party is prepared to negotiate until proven otherwise sets the tone for success. Asking if your number is too high only signals a lack of confidence in the value of what you’re offering. Instead, state your number clearly and allow them to respond before continuing the conversation.
“I will just wait to hear back from you about next steps.”
When I’m onstage as an auctioneer, I know that once I call the winning bid, I make sure the winner’s credit card is charged immediately. I’ve learned that buyer’s remorse can kick in, and what seemed like an exciting win in the heat of the moment might not feel as appealing outside of the auction environment. The same can happen in negotiations.
A negotiation isn’t truly complete until the contract is signed. So, don’t wait around for the other party to take the next step—be proactive and follow up right away to ensure everything is in place and ready for finalization. The sooner you close the deal, the sooner you can move on to your next successful negotiation.