Why Gulf Countries Are Going All Out For Trump’s Visit

New Delhi : Remember Boman Irani as Kishan Khurana in Khosla ka Ghosla — the tacky decor, the limited vocabulary, the leering glad eye, sneering at middle-income folk while grovelling before the rich? Real estate dealer Donald Trump is the president of the world’s richest nation for a second go. But once a property dealer, always a property dealer.

In the film, Khosla’s son and mates outfox Khurana by hiring actors to pose as wealthy NRIs, conning the conman. The similarities with the events in the Middle East are a guess you shouldn’t hazard. Trump smirked when his team roasted Ukraine’s President Volodymyr Zelenskyy for rocking a battleground tee to the Oval. The same Trump happily sat across an emir in sandals and thaub, royal shin gleaming.

This is Trump in his element, ogling opulence, drooling over oil money, and pocketing loose change from sheikhs. His vocabulary shrinks to “hot” and its synonyms. Don’t blame the Saudi summer. “Hot!” he declares, not about the $1-trillion Saudi investment pledge but something that’s got him grinning like he just silenced Stormy Daniels like Qatar hushes the West. “Hottest vibe since my orb moment, folks, tremendous,” you could hear him say, even in a still image.

Take his Riyadh speech. “The United States is the hottest country. Okay, maybe tied with Saudi Arabia, a tremendous place,” he said, winking at Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman (MBS). He called their trade deal “gorgeous” and Riyadh’s neon skyline “lovely, like a supermodel strutting her stuff”. The crowd lapped it up.

Then there’s his mid-flight musing on India and Pakistan, blurted en route to Doha. “They’re going at it, hot and heavy, folks, like a real blockbuster,” he nearly said, before veering into a classic Trump tangent. “Marco, take ’em out for a beautiful dinner. India, Pakistan, gorgeous nations. Big table, very romantic, seal the deal, believe me.” Picture Rubio, sweating over dhokla, sweet-talking two nations into some naan violence.

In Doha yesterday, Qatar? Tremendous guys, very hot future, like Syria’s new leader, Ahmed al-Sharaa. Yes, Trump lifted sanctions on Syria, now led by a former al-Qaida figure with a $10-million US bounty on his head. Because Riyadh plied him with billions as a return gift. Al-Sharaa, once a terrorist, sat across President Trump in Riyadh as President al-Sharaa. “Very young, very attractive, very strong,” Trump later described him.

Trump’s still buzzing from calling tax cuts “steamy” and Elon Musk’s Saudi AI data centres “the hottest tech since Star Wars, very beautiful”. His speeches turn diplomacy into a cabaret act. At a Saudi investment forum, he dubbed Gulf prosperity “hot and heavy, like nobody’s ever seen”, leaving analysts baffled. From tariffs to terrorism, he describes everything like he’s on a date night. India-Pakistan? “Hot and heavy.” Trump makes geopolitics sexy again.

You become what you consume. Trump’s limited lexicon is no secret, but as he ages, it’s increasingly clear his vocab draws from the high-octane “entertainment” aboard Air Force One. Only he and the Secret Service know the playlist. The world only knows his “tremendous” taste. “No, no, I appreciate,” as Kishan Khurana said. “Hot”.